The Devil You Know
by LemonSmoothie
Summary: Great rage close to heaven! Angels and demons and genetic experiments, oh my!
1. How Lovely Heaven Can Be

Chapter 1 – The Beginning of the End

Charlotte's world faded in from the inky nothingness so quickly she had to squint her eyes to keep from being blinded. That a world appeared at all was more than a little surprising to her, given what had happened only minutes before, but her surprised grew even more when she looked down at her body and saw no scars. No bleeding. No school uniform. All she saw was a fluffy white dress and the perfect skin she'd always wanted, with a pair of comfortable white shoes—not tennis shoes—on her feet. Something was certainly amiss.

Her body was not the only unfamiliar thing she could see: in front of her rose a fence with a gate fashioned out of gold and a variety of sparkling gems. A middle-aged man in a white suit sat in the gate's gatehouse. Behind that, she could see nothing but architectural marvels. Statues of happy-looking children playing trumpets adorned fountains in the middle of a shiny cobblestone street leading directly away from where she stood. On either side of the street were buildings intricately carved from a sort of stone she could not recognize right away but which looked to be rare and expensive. Someone had carved patterns of flowers and lions and other baroque themes into most of the side buildings, straight out of the rock from which they were built. Back in the distance, Charlotte could make out what was either a building or a series of connected buildings, tall as a skyscraper and wide as a mountain. Their walls looked as if they were carved from marble. Sunlight reflected off of everything.

Much to her relief, this all looked nothing like Charlotte's middle school.

She stared ahead at a particularly gaudy statue in the middle of the street until someone tugged on her arm and requested that she move forward.

"You're blocking traffic," a woman's voice told her. "Angel Academy is quite the spectacle, but I'm afraid you'll have to admire it from a slightly different vantage point."

Charlotte blushed and allowed the newcomer to lead her toward the gate. "I-I'm sorry. I don't mean to get in anybody's way."

She risked a glance sideways at the woman holding onto her arm. She looked young but not young enough to fit any reasonable definition of a kid. She was medium height and build. She wore a white dress similar to the one Charlotte had on, but hers was slightly less fluffy, and it came with a round white cap on top of her head, hiding most of her dark hair. Her eyes were somewhere between blue and gray. On her back, she had a pair of feathery wings.

The lady smiled welcomingly. "Everyone here is confused at first. Just follow my lead and we'll get you situated right away. We'll try to ease you into your new life, so don't expect to go exploring everyone right off, okay?"

"Exploring?" Charlotte grimaced. "I don't even know where I am."

"Oh?" The lady stopped for a second. "You really don't?"

"No," said Charlotte. "Should I?"

"I guess not," the lady said. "Forgive me; I'm new at this. You'll be part of my first class. My name is Amina, and I'll be your guide to life as an Angel here at Angel Academy."

Charlotte's face went red as a beet. "Angel? Am I… dead?"

Amina put her hand on Charlotte's shoulder. "I'm sorry. It is true, though. It happens to us all sooner or later. For me, it was a long time ago. Train accident. Splat. I never stood a chance. Luckily, death isn't the end here."

Charlotte put her hand to her forehead and took a deep breath. "So I'm dead, but I'm not dead."

"Right on, young Angel."

"My name is Charlotte, by the way. I am pleased to meet you."

"Likewise," said Amina. "I think you'll find that death isn't as bad as you might have thought. At least, not with the friends you'll be making. You're the last one in my group to arrive, so why don't I introduce you to the others?"

Charlotte nodded and followed Amina to the gate. The man in the booth waved to them; Amina smiled and waved back. Charlotte attempted to smile.

"This'll just take a minute, okay Charly?" said Amina. "I have a little bit of paperwork I need to process, and then we'll need to get you an ID card, and then we can go right up to the dorms. Just bear with me."

While Amina spoke with the gate official, Charlotte took the time to look back at where she had come from. She immediately regretted it. The space where she had apparently appeared a few minutes earlier looked like a cloud, not the hard, safe rock on which she now stood. Her little cloud was circular and blue. Behind it, a rolling layer of clouds overtook all pretense of a rocky ground and then dropped off into a vast expanse of sky. Sky below her. Sky where she could fall if she took a wrong step. But to Charlotte's surprise, she did not feel dizzy like she normally would when up high enough that she could imagine falling.

Several more circular cloud platforms lay along the edge of the clouds, each one a slightly different pastel color. Everyone minute or so, one of the cloud platforms would glow bright pink or green or blue or yellow or whatever color, and a winged humanoid figure—and Angel, Charlotte guessed—would appear on the platform. Within seconds, a taller Angel dressed like Amina would run over to the platform and greet the new arrival, and the two would make their way to the wall of the city. Now that Charlotte had a clearer head, she noticed that there was a gate for each cloud platform, probably to save everyone from having to stand in a long line at a single gate.

Charlotte could make no more observations before Amina once again tugged at her arm, pulled her into the little gatehouse, and sat her down on a small, black folding chair in front of a blank white screen and behind a camera. The gatekeeper aimed the camera at her, urged her to say something cheerful, and snapped a photograph.

The camera's flash set spots dancing in front of Charlotte's face. She shook her head to clear them and stood up, while the gatekeeper took his camera off to a back room.

"Amina, you said this place is an academy, right?"

"That is right, Charly," said Amina. "It is an academy where you will learn how to be a proper Angel."

"Is that like heaven?"

"Sort of. Only, most Earth fables hold that heaven is a place where you can sit around in luxury for all eternity. It's a rather unrealistic view. If everyone were to sit around doing nothing, then nothing would get done, and society would decay. Up here, everyone has a job. We have been assigned special jobs. Only a lucky few end up at Angel Academy, so we have to work hard to live up to expectations."

"That sounds so exciting!" said Charlotte. "Do you know what we'll be studying?"

"Lots of things," said Amina. "There will be etiquette, magic, dancing, art, fighting, music, cooking…."

"Fighting?"

Amina stopped smiling. "Yes. While things are generally peaceful here, it's still a good idea to keep in shape in case of a demon invasion."

"Demon invasion?"

Amina sighed. "I probably shouldn't have said that. It's not something you'll need to worry about, anyway. The Celestial Realms have not been invaded in millions of years. That won't be changing anytime soon. We mostly use our martial training in fun little tournaments, and to settle disputes over lunch money, and things like that. The odd demon appears here and there, yes, but most of them are smart enough to stay away. After all, everyone in this city has been through some degree of training at the Academy. We prevent large-scale invasions with a show of strength."

"It sounds to me like you learned all that from a book."

"Would a book tell you to use your training to beat up some bully who stole your money?" Amina winked.

"I guess not."

"That part is off the record, by the way."

Just then, the gatekeeper returned with a small white plastic card decorated by a mugshot of Charlotte's face and some fancy script spelling out her name. There were some other words written on the card below the photograph, but they were in a language Charlotte could not read.

"You like it?" Amina asked.

"It's fancy," said Charlotte.

"Well, your paperwork is all cleared, so why don't we head off to meet your new friends?"

The gatekeeper waved goodbye as Amina and Charlotte marched outside and crossed through the gate into the city. This time, Charlotte waved back.


	2. Unforgivable!

Kauai was called "the Garden Isle" for its beautiful landscapes and vegetation. But all gardens had to be watered, and so rain poured down in sheets.

Victoria whistled happily. The rain pitter-pattered on her yellow slicker and white umbrella. Ordinarily, she'd be kept inside during the rain, but seeing as her father had the flu, she was off to her friend Lilo's house. So much the better.

A cloud of thick fog filled the air, so there were few other people out. And very few cars. It gave off a feeling of solitude, but no loneliness. It felt nourishing to be alone as the rain fell around her.

She crossed Main Street and skipped along Poplar Street. The local church was at the corner, a beautiful little brick building. Just looking at the church or the large statue of the Creator made Victoria feel warm and safe.

An elderly man hobbled along the church's lawn, though his legs looked too thin and twisted to support his body. He didn't carry an umbrella and was not wearing a raincoat despite the pouring rain. His skin was yellow, and looked waxy. White hair clung to his scalp like sheets of wet linen. A giant snaggle tooth protruded from his lower jaw like a gravestone, and would have looked goofy were it not for its sharpness. His hunchback was of Quasimodo proportions. The grass beneath his feet died and turned brown as he shuffled along.

Victoria knew it wasn't polite to stare, but the man looked so bizarre, even freaky, she couldn't help it. He looked like something out of a Lemony Snicket book. And there was something bizarre about him. Something she couldn't quite figure out.

The man made no acknowledgement of Victoria's presence. He just moved toward the giant statue of the Creator, Walt Disney.

The statue exploded. There was no better word for it: thousands of pieces of marble flew in every direction. There was no sound or boom, the statue simply blew apart like a clay pigeon in a shooting gallery. Victoria flinched as Walt's head landed at her feet, as if it had been a real severed head.

One by one, the church's beautiful stained glass windows broke. Once again, there was no sound.

The man laughed, and it was a horrible, grating sound. With one final cackle, he stepped back and faded into the thick fog.

Tears welled up in Victoria's eyes as she stared at the broken bits of stone and colored glass. "Why?" _Should I go to the police? No. What are they going to think? That a poor old man broke the statue without any dynamite or a sledgehammer? Heh, he probably can't even lift a sledgehammer! They'd think I did it. _The thought of being accused of such desecration was worse than witnessing the act. The police wouldn't believe her, a little girl. Not to mention the members of the Kokaua Town Police Department were notorious for sneaking off to go surfing on duty.

Victoria looked up at the sky, the cold rain spilling onto her face and getting in her eyes. It wasn't just her imagination. The midday sky had gone from gray to black.

The rain just didn't feel safe anymore. Indeed, Victoria felt the temptation to run the rest of the way to Lilo's house. But then, something else might chase her, maybe even the old man. So she settled for walking fast.

Author's Note: Apologize for the shortness. I just felt it'd be ruined if I added more.


	3. The Malevolent Lord

The diminutive, red-clad figure of Jake Long was a mere flea before the colossal majesty of the Malevolent Lord's throne. His clothing and size together rendered him nigh invisible against the carpeting stretching from the door to the foot of the throne. His black hair matched the cold stone walls, and his face's tense features matched those of the portrait of the Enemy on the wall, with his face's blemishes mirroring the points at which darts had been cast at the Enemy's wretched visage. The throne itself towered over him, torches behind throwing it into silhouette and blinding him to the sight of his lord. Jake trembled as he made his report.

"I am here, my lord," he spoke, desperately hoping his words loud enough that he would not have to repeat them. He kneeled deeply. "And eager to serve you."

Whether the Malevolent Lord smiled or scowled at Jake's entreaty, it was impossible to tell. The throne sat entirely covered in shadow. For several seconds, there was nothing but silence.

The Malevolent Lord's voice came at last: "Your efforts of late astonish me. You are a force worthy of the fear you inspire. Now receive this power from my hand."

A stretch of darkness wormed its way out from the abyss in the middle of the throne. The dim light cast by the torches in back illuminated a pale, bony finger jutting out from under a black cloak. For an instant, a purple mist seeped out from the tip of the finger and surrounded Jake, dancing about his shoulders and then his head and then his legs until he could sense his strength growing.

"Ooh, yeah, I'm feelin' it!" Jake cackled, briefly forgetting where he was.

"Remember your decorum in my presence," came the voice from the throne. "This is a boon earned by the sweat of your brow. But for your prowess for reconnaissance, access to DL-6 would not today be ours. I grant you command of the six hundred and sixteenth battalion. Return to DL-6 and complete the infusion. Send me a field report from Lieutenant Nicodemus. I authorize full use of all resources up to and including Ultimate End."

Jake pondered this for a moment, the fear of his master quelled somewhat by his promotion but still present. A grave thought occurred to him. "What if the Abdulrahman come?" he asked.

The Malevolent Lord laughed. "Let them come. They shall be worthy subjects for the testing of our new powers."

Jake bowed his head. "I understand, sir."

"Furthermore…" said his lord, and a with a flash of red light, a dark, angular object appeared in the Malevolent Lord's hand. Jake stared expectantly.

The hand dropped the object at Jake's feet. "It is the Crystal of Dracon. With it, you'll always have my strength beside you. Wear your title proudly."

Jake made one final bow before taking his leave. "I understand, Father."

XXX

As Jake strode down the hallway, puffed up on his new promotion and new powers, he could not help but stop to admire his reflection in one of the many mirrors lining the walls on both sides. His hair was still jet-black, but reflected the light now. He had green irises now. The acne that dotted his nose and cheeks had faded. "How can anyone resist me now?" he asked his reflection. He took a moment to flex his arms. As he did so, his videophone beeped. "New and improved AmDrag here. Oh, hi, Lieutenant Nicodemus."

"So I see," Nicodemus said from the other end. It was the old man Victoria had seen at the church. "Congratulations, young master."

"The boss wants your report."

"I put it in your inbox."

"Abdulrahman level?"

Nicodemus paused before replying. "Within normal limits."

Jake nodded. "Saturation level?"

"Seven point five percent. With the stabilizers gone, it will rise."

This pleased Jake. "Good, Nicky."

"Over and out."

Another minute of gazing and posing for the mirror passed in silence. "Wow. I've got biceps now!"

Another visitor to the hallway interrupted Jake's introspection.

Jake greeted the other man in an excited tone. "Hey, Grandpa, ready for some sunbathing in Hawaii?"

His grandfather, Lao Shi, glared menacingly. "You better not screw up. I don't want to

pull duty in SL-9."

Jake Long laughed. "That wouldn't be so bad. Say what you will, but that Filia chick is hot."

"You want hot? A Dragon Slave is hot. She's not worth encountering one of those."

Jake changed the subject. "I just got promoted, you know. At the rate I'm going, I'm gonna outrank you, and you'll have to salute me."

"Salute? I'd rather bow. That way I'll duck underneath the pigs that will be flying over head by the time that happens."

"Whatever. You're just jealous because I look so good."

Jake Long turned his attention back to his mirror and ran his hand through his hair. He almost didn't notice the reflection of his grandfather rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

XXX

Victoria knocked on the front door. "Lilo? Are you there?"

Lilo opened the door. "Hi, Victoria. Want to play doctor?"

"Huh?" Victoria looked around the living room. Dozens of furry creatures were scattered about. "The cousins?"

"Yeah. Where's Snooty?"

"He stayed at home with my dad. Daddy's got the flu, so he's producing snot like crazy. So what's this?"

"We're playing hospital. Jumba is the doctor. Pleakley's the nurse. I'm the triage nurse. And Stitch is the translator. What do you want to be?"

"I can be the Chief of Staff who's always complaining and annoying the doctors," Victoria suggested.

Lilo clapped her hands. "Great! Just like on _Scrubs_!"

Jumba nodded. "I created Experiment 110 to be an annoyance. Never shutting up, yakking on and on about the most mundane matters." He sighed. "Not anymore. Has gone completely mute."

Experiment 110, also known as Squeak, nodded solemnly. "…"

Jumba smacked his forehead. "Next!"

Lilo consulted her clipboard. "Angel?"

Angel, a fluffy pink experiment, came forward. Her antennae dropped sadly, and her eyes looked wet. "I'm supposed to sing at a benefit hosted by the American Authors' Association. But everytime I try…well…my voice cracks. And I'm off key. What's wrong with me?"

Jumba took out a tongue depressor. "Say 'aaa'." He examined Angel's mouth. "No signs of injury."

"But I need this corrected!" Angel insisted. "Gore Vidal will be there!"

"Pshaw," said Pleakley, straightening his nurse's cap. "Gore Vidal hates everything anyway."

"We'll get back to you," Jumba said. "Next?"

Lilo consulted her clipboard. "Wakefield?" No answer.

Stitch looked across the crowded living room and pointed out a sleeping experiment.

Jumba shook his head. "He's supposed to keep people awake. Now he can't even keep himself awake!"

Victoria sat on the couch next to a yellow experiment. The experiment was busily writing in a notebook while consulting a piece of yellow legal paper. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to solve this puzzle," the experiment replied. "But I just can't."

"So which one are you?" Victoria asked.

"Codis, 057, at your service, milady."

"Mind if I help? I like to do the newspaper Crypto-quip."

"Sure. I doubt you'll be able to do this." Codis handed the sheet and notebook over. "This is a mission for the CIA. Agent Bubbles gave me this personally."

Victoria glanced it over. "So each letter stands for a different one?"

"I think so. But I've tried every combination. Or maybe each word stands for a sentence, and each letter is a word? But how on earth…"

"Hmm…this is weird."

"What?"

"I think this says _bread, milk, eggs, Pop-tarts_, and so on. It's a list of foods."

"Oh, posh. Cobra gave me his shopping list by mistake again! But thank you all the same, Lady Victoria."

Meanwhile, Nosy – the red experiment designed to reveal embarrassing secrets – was describing his current predicament. "You see, I need a story for my celebrity gossip column. But all I've got is that Paris Hilton is a stupid, spoiled whore. Deadline's tomorrow."

"Paris Hilton _is _a stupid spoiled whore," Pleakley interjected. "It's no secret."

"Exactly," Nosy said. "Everybody knows that. I need fresh dirt!"

"Make something up," Jumba said.

"I can't," Nosy said. "That's libel."

Jumba shook his head. "You only decide to grow conscience after you printed those love letters I wrote about 611…" 611 was the ultimate superweapon, named Christine, a living vehicle that could adapt itself to any terrain.

Nosy smirked. "Well, I needed something. It's a great love story. Experiment and scientist. Car and driver."

"Remind me to tell 611 to run him over," Jumba whispered to Pleakley.

"I heard that," said Nosy.

Jumba grunted in frustration. "I have seen over fifty experiments today, all with some complaint about their powers, but I haven't found anything physiologically wrong with them!" He looked to Stitch. "626, you still have strength, right?"

Stitch effortlessly lifted the couch, with Lilo, Victoria, and several experiments on it. "Ih."

"Good. 625 and 626 were given extra infusion."

"Infusion of what?" Pleakley asked.

"Special ingredient." Jumba said with a wink.

"What?" Lilo asked.

"Trade secret." Jumba pushed aside his notes. "I'm not seeing any more experiments today. The clinic is closed."

The remaining experiments groaned.

"But I'm hosting a seminar on Legesbue integration …" said Euler, the math genius.

"Hair tastes yucky now, and it's piling up in the salon," Clip whined.

"I'm late for my multiple personality's appointment, and I can't help him," Freud, a psychoanalyst experiment, said. "For now, I'm letting him talk amongst himself."

Jumba pointed out the door. "Out!"

The experiments groaned again and scattered.

Jumba sighed. "Is all my hard work going down drain?"

"Maybe they're just sick," Victoria suggested.

Jumba shook his head. "I don't think so."

"So what was that special ingredient that 625 and Stitch have?" Lilo asked.

"Oh, that. All experiments were infused with holy energy derived from the Creator."

Pleakley looked surprised. "I half-expected you to infuse them with the Dark Lord's essence."

"You mean…" Jumba began.

Pleakley held up his hand. "Stop it! Do not say his name! The Malevolent Lord's name…"

"Is just name."

"No. It's a harbinger of death and destruction," Pleakley insisted. "His hand will stretch to our world if you keep casually invoking him."

"Superstitious nonsense," Jumba said.

"Then why did you infuse them with Walt's essence?"

"Playing god is better than playing devil."

Pleakley sighed. "You'll ruin us. One day the sky will turn black, and it'll be all your fault!"

Victoria gasped. "The sky…black?"

"Yes," Pleakley said. "Whenever the sky turns black at midday, it means something terrible is going to happen. I see someone hasn't been paying attention to her theology classes."

"It turned black today," Victoria said. "On my way here. I saw it."

"What?" Pleakley cried.

"She probably just saw a solar eclipse," Jumba said, shrugging.

"An eclipse," Pleakley argued. "When the sun and moon aren't in conjunction?"

There was a loud knock on the door. Lilo got up to answer it. "Hello?"

"Is Victoria here?" It was Victoria's older brother, Allen.

Victoria moved to the front door. "Allen? What's wrong?"

"It's Dad. They had to take him to the hospital. He's gotten worse." Allen looked away. "They aren't sure he's going to make it."

To Be Continued


	4. The Invisible Hand

Rapid footsteps echoed down the hallways of the Academy, growing more rapid by the second, booming out as each of Charlotte's black school boots hit the glossy tiled floor. The other students had already disappeared into their classrooms; Charlotte was late. Her jacket and skirt swished back and forth, a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead, and her mouth twisted into a slight grimace as she drew closer to her destination, classroom 306.

When she reached the doorway, she took a second to catch her breath, heaving and panting and leaning forward with her hand outstretched against the door frame. Her thoughts briefly jumped to the lecture she knew her teacher would lob at her when she entered, a full five minutes tardy, but she knew it would be worse to be later and worse still to be absent. She waited for her breathing to slow, wiped her brow, and turned the handle on the door.

Inside, her teacher, Dr. Venes, gave her a piercing look as she scurried to her seat, head angled down to avoid meeting his eyes. A meek apology escaped her mouth as she sat down and dug her textbook out of her shoulder bag. She flipped through for the day's lesson: "On Dragons and Other Large Reptilian and Avian Monsters." Chapter eight.

Looking at first page of the chapter, she skimmed a paragraph of introductory material on old European dragons and then took in an illustration of a thing, brown, winged wyrm with smoke wafting from its nostrils and eyes that reminded Charlotte of Dr. Venes's. Turning the page, she came across an anatomical diagram, a cartoon depiction of the dragon's basic biological structure.

"You look like you're paying attention," she heard from her professor. "Charlotte, would you stand up? Yes, according to the text, what is the _draco familiaris_'s primary weak point?"

The diagram held the answer. "Its neck," she answered.

"Good job," said Dr. Venes. "Indeed, the weakest point of a common dragon is its neck. In fact, its scales make the rest of it nearly invulnerable. If you attack it anywhere else, you might even break your sword! I didn't really think Charlotte would know that. She didn't look like she actually did the reading."

Charlotte sank a little in her chair, but she felt a bit more knowledgeable. She tried to will herself into becoming invisible as she settled in for the rest of the day's lecture.

Dr. Venes continued. "But always remember, nothing is truly invincible. Antaeus was unable to be pinned, as he drew strength from his mother Gaia when he was on the ground. So the great hero Heracles had to hold him in the air and strangle him..."

Eighty five long minutes later, the school bell rang. Charlotte counted herself fortunate that she was not among those it woke from the lecture, but she still found herself unable to fight the reflex to jump out of her seat. She stuffed her book back into her shoulder bag and took long strides toward the door, hoping to slip out before anyone could draw her into a conversation on the subject of dragons, which she found much more boring than did most in her class. She might have thought the study of giant, deadly monsters could be more exciting, but her experience in class had convinced her it was too clinical and methodical. Dragons were exciting; the methodology of killing them was not.

Before she reached the door, however, Charlotte heard her name. She heard it from her professor. "Stay behind for a minute," Dr. Venes ordered her. "I have a few words I'd like to say to you."

Stymied, Charlotte stepped to the side and stood still, feigning interest in the chalkboard while she waited for her classmates to leave ahead of her. A few of them gave her suspicious looks. When the door closed behind the last of them, she fidgeted while she waited for Dr. Venes to say something.

Finally, "Charlotte. You remember that I told you about a practical project, do you not?"

Charlotte nodded but opted to remain silent.

"You're in the top quarter of the class," continued Dr. Venes. "Tardiness problem or not, you've earned the chance to win some extra credit by taking part in this practicum. You will be evaluated, but you will receive, in addition to bonus credit, valuable experience that will serve you well as you transition into your future angelic post. Do you understand?"

Charlotte took a deep breath, thought the question over, and nodded again.

"During the course of the event, you will be required to keep up with your lessons while on the road; you will be excused from attendance, but you will not be on leave. Take all of your duties seriously.

"As for details, you will receive them from your immediate advisor, Amina. I have already informed her that you meet the criteria for this program, so she will be contacting you with further details. Please speak with her as soon as you have the opportunity."

"Yes, sir," said Charlotte. "I will contact her this afternoon."

"Do not disappoint me, Cervantes," said Dr. Venes.

Charlotte bowed. "I'll try my best not to."

"Good. And don't be late again!"

"I won't, Dr. Venes." Charlotte walked out the door.

XXX

Charlotte stood outside Amina's office and collected herself. In her right hand, she clutched an unused notebook for recording anything of interest she might come across in her conversation with her advisor. In her left hand, she spun a pen around with her four fingers, almost absentmindedly, while she focused her attention on a quick mantra to get her nerves under control and her confidence high. When she felt she was ready, she rapped on the door.

It opened, as if by itself. Charlotte stepped.

Amina sat in her office chair, palms resting lightly on her desk, back straight, and face looking pedagogical. In front of her, on her desk, were a few loose leaves of paper with her handwriting scribbled across them, a manila folder with its wax seal broken, and a half-drunk glass of red wine.

"Good afternoon, Charlotte," she said, softly but seriously, like Gwyneth Paltrow.

Charlotte bowed politely, then she looked straight into Amina's eyes, awaiting an invitation to it down. Amina motioned for her to take the seat in front of the desk.

"I trust you have been informed of the purpose of this meeting by your battle teacher," said Amina.

"I have," said Charlotte. "I was told that you had an assignment for me. Field work."

"Correct," said Amina. "However, I must insist that you come with me to a special place before I tell you."

Charlotte tried hard to keep her face expressionless, but she let a slight twinge of nervousness through. Amina noticed and laughed.

"It's not anyplace bad or, at the moment, dangerous, but I need for you to meet someone. She has a personal stake in the assignment, so it is best that you talk to her before departing."

"Departing?" Charlotte repeated.

Amina rested her chin in her hands. "Why, yes. We will be leaving right away. This work is time sensitive. Now, come along. Quickly."

Amina rose from her desk and walked to the door with the sort of half march, half glide peculiar to those of a certain level of dignity and grace. Charlotte followed behind, trying with limited success to imitate her teacher. Amina led her to the far side of the school, through a pair of security terminals, and into a guarded transport chamber.

Angelic transportation ran along several lines. Pedestrian roads connected most areas of the city, and buses ran between checkpoints for those requiring faster travel over longer distances. Special destinations, however, required use of teleportation terminals with restricted access protocols. Without someone of Amina's rank accompanying her, Charlotte would have been turned away at the first checkpoint, actually.

In the center of the room were several glowing white circles on the floor, and on the wall, inside what looked like a fuse box, were a few glowing control buttons. A plate hanging over the door listed the name of the district and, as best Charlotte could tell, the specific identity of the transport room on it in large, clear letters. Amina guided Charlotte to one of the glowing circles and then hit a sequence of control buttons. She joined Charlotte, and the two of them watched the world fade to white for a few seconds and then fade back in.

Charlotte rubbed her eyes; she could not see at first, but when her vision adjusted, she found herself in a room similar to the one she had just left, but with a different sign over the door. Once again, Amina led her through a series of doors and down a few hallways, though these were nicer than the relatively spartan hallways of the faculty office wing of the school. The checkered floor shone with a brighter polish, the walls had more ornate decorations hanging on them, and the ceiling, instead of plain white, was golden and in places almost sparkling. The doors were larger and made of nicer wood, the windows were cleaner, and the walls were of a different color of marble. Charlotte, barely even accustomed to her surroundings at the school, found herself once again in awe.

At last they reached the large oak door leading to the office of (according to the nameplate on the door) one Makana Pelekai. Amina knocked on the door, hers a more powerful and confident knock than Charlotte's, and she marched in.

The inside was more like a business office than that of a professor. Charlotte wondered if Amina herself envied the larger desk, the windows letting in natural light, and the potted plants lining three of the walls, but if she did have any envy, she showed none of it.

Standing behind the desk was a tall woman in a tan tailored suit, with a small, angular face, dark eyes, a smallish pointed nose, arched eyebrows, pitch black medium length hair, full brown lips, and the sort of smooth brown skin that would look good in a television advertisement for an upscale sweater or a nice perfume. The woman frowned at her guests but made no other sign of disapproval.

"Makana," said Amina, "this is my protege, Charlotte."

Charlotte bowed, and the frowning woman reciprocated.

"Charlotte, meet Lieutenant Makana Pelekai, a friend of mine."

Makana's frown broke. "I regret that we have to meet under these circumstances, but I am pleased to make the acquaintance of one of Amina's favorite students."

Reflexively, Charlotte bowed again.

Makana frowned again. "I must insist that we discuss business without delay. My mission, and your project, is of utmost importance and urgency. I have no small amount of trust invested in the Amina's judgment, so I hope to see this matter resolved quickly and with minimal complications. The problem is this: Area DL-6, my former home, is suspected of having been invaded by an agent of the Malevolent Lord, and in particular, this agent may have made a target of my very own daughter."

Charlotte gasped in surprise. Even Amina couldn't help but blink at the news.

"The agent appears to be working alone, so we will send a task force to eliminate it as part of standard procedure. You will be our lone trainee on the force, accompanied by more experienced agents, as per regulations. Again, this is standard procedure. All trainees of sufficient talent must complete field missions in order to graduate with honors."

"Indeed," said Amina. "You need not worry, though you will be evaluated by me, by Makana, and by Dr. Venes."

"Accompanying you part of the way will be your teacher, Amina."

Amina glanced at Charlotte for the first time of the meeting and threw her a slight smile in an attempt to reassure her, but it merely made Charlotte more nervous.

Makana continued: "Please review our standard field guide as well as our... what?"

A loud knock at the door interrupted the meeting. Without warning, it swung open. Behind it stood a tall, muscular woman wearing a tactical field suit, a utility belt, and a camouflage "sneaking suit" device, an eye patch, and a holster with a light pistol. The new woman made no pretense of formality before addressing Makana and completely ignoring the other two of the room's occupants.

"This mission is not fit for a trainee!" she barked. "Reconsider, Lieutenant Pelekai."

Taken by surprise, Makana shook her head before answering. "I am aware of the potential severity of the situation, Agent Funicello, but a single low level enemy agent should pose little threat to our team. This scenario is practically drawn up specifically to test a cadet!"

Funicello growled impatiently. "Do you realize you're probably playing into a trap? If it's obvious to us that this is a low level threat, then it's obvious to our enemy, as well. You could be bringing about the Fall without even realizing it."

Makana glared back. "It is obvious, isn't it? In any even, we have safety protocols in place in the event that our trainee requires assistance. In the meantime, I have placed my full confidence in the students of Amina's department and in her instructional methods. Our young talent will not fail us."

Funicello stared for a second as if composing a reply, and then she turned and left without a word, slamming the door behind her and leaving Makana and Amina to repair any damage done to Charlotte's confidence.

"Ignore her," pleaded Amina. "Agent Amaryllis Funicello is skilled, but she is overzealous and interprets every minor threat as the end of the world."

"Your teacher is correct," said Makana Pelekai. "If we did not have every reason to believe you could accomplish this mission, we would have assigned it to someone with more experience. Please, make us proud."

"And one more thing," said Amina. "You will need appropriate information and equipment if you are to be successful."

Reaching into her desk, Makana dug out a folder with an ink pattern of the Academy on its cover and a small, black bracelet studded with red gems. She handed the items to Amina and closed her drawer.

"The briefing, in full," Makana announced, "and a bit of standard equipment for dealing with agents of the Malevolent Lord. As you remember from your classes, demons emit a sort of power that is poisonous to angels, but we have found spells to counteract this effect. When these spells are engraved into a bracelet we can wear them as armor. With this, you will be safe for your encounter. Without it, you will likely die."

"But you will have it, so you will not die," Amina said quickly.

"That is all I have for you, Cadet Charlotte." Makana stood tall and saluted her guests. "We wish the two of you the best of luck. May Walt be with you."

And with that, Charlotte found herself and her flurry of mixed emotions, ranging from apprehension to eagerness to fear, dragged by the arm out of the office and back to the transport room.

XXX

At Lilo's house, tensions were running high.

"What do you mean he won't make it?!" Victoria demanded. "Can the doctors do anything?!"

"It's not just him," Allen said. "Lot of people have been hospitalized."

Victoria folded her arms crossly. "There's nothing we can do...?"

"There's nothing we can do!" screamed Pleakley, his faced stretched in horror and his eye opened as wide as it could go, his arms flailing, and his voice an octave above its usual pitch. "Nothing at all! It's upon us! The Fall!"

Pleakley carried on like this for about half a minute, and then he ran into the wall and fell on his back, dizzied.

"What's the Fall?" Lilo asked.

Jumba palmed his face. "It basic end of world scenario. When Walt die second death, then Malevolent Lord have demons run over worlds."

"The Apocalypse, basically," said Pleakley to one of the birds he saw circling his head.

Pleakley opened a nearby trunk and pulled out several pin lanyards. "Here. Wear these for protection."

"Ooh-kay," Lilo said, taking one.

XXX

"Welcome, young Master," Nicodemus bowed as Jake Long stepped out of the teleportation portal, followed by his grandfather and two best friends.

Arthur P. Spudinski, better known to the world as 'Spud', shrugged. "Dude, do you think taking advantage of Lilo's trust was, like, wrong?"

"I must say I didn't expect her to impersonate me," Jake said. "But it was a good thing she did. She and those experiments blocked out our dark signature long enough for us to open those channels. And once we destroy this world's stabilizer, the Dark Lord's Miasma will flow into this world. The residents will pledge their allegiance to our Lord, or die. And when this world falls, the surrounding worlds will be poisoned as well, starting a chain reaction that leads to....dun dun dun! THE FALL!"

"And we're going to turn those experiments into soldiers for our cause," finished Trixie. "But I have one question, Jake."

"I will hear it," said Jake.

"What do you propose to do about Lilo?" Trixie asked.

"She brings up a good point," Nicodemus said. "Kill her and the angels have a powerful ally..."

"I'm not going to kill her," Jake said. "At least, not through traditional means. The best way to destroy an enemy is to make them your ally, right? If we convince Lilo to join us, it'll be easier to manipulate those experiments."

"Yeah, but good luck corrupting such purity," Nicodemus said.

Jake reached into his pocket and took out a small square box. "I bought this for Rose, but this is so much better." He opened the box, revealing its contents.

"Pearls?" Trixie asked. "Lilo doesn't strike me as that type."

Jake took the Crystal of Dracon, which he was wearing on a chain around his neck and held it to the white pearls. Dark energy flowed from the crystal to the pearls, turning them an ominous black. "If she so much as touches this necklace, her Walt-loving soul will burn away and make her like us."

"Won't that hurt?" Spud asked.

Jake shrugged. "Eh. Only for a few seconds."

Trixie held out her hand. "Give 'em to me. I'll make sure Lilo puts it on. She trusts me."

Jake handed over the box.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Spud asked.

Trixie palmed her face. "He just explained it! We destroy the grand stabilizer of this world, the Holy Sword Dragonbane. And then this world will fall into chaos."

"That which does not grow falls into decay," Lao Shi observed. "Walt's grip upon this world wanes. The hand that should hold this world and all the others...belongs to Michael Eisner!"

To Be Continued


	5. Things Are Getting Out of Hand

Gantu looked impatiently at the experiment computer. "No activations lately."

625 pointed out the bay window and blinked. Thick purple fog obscured the surroundings. "You really want to look for experiments in that?"

Gantu examined his companion. "Why aren't you making sandwiches? Or making fun of me?"

"Eh. Don't feel like it," 625 explained. "Gantu...I really don't feel good."

"Suck it up," Gantu replied. "Pansy."

XXX

Nicodemus, Jake, Lao Shi, and Spud stood before the entrance to a large cave, its mouth twenty feet high, a glowing gold seal with an imprint of a winged dragon flying, left to right, holding a medieval villager in its claws, blocking further entry.

"Here we are," Nicodemus announced to the party. "The Cavern of Dragonbane."

"I'll take it from here, Nicky," Jake said, holding up the Crystal of Dracon. A beam of black light shot from the crystal and struck the seal in the center of the winged dragon's underside, whereupon the outline of the entire figure, from the dragon's teeth to the tips of its wings to the bottom of the feet of the terrified villager in its grip, lit up, and then the entire seal faded and vanished.

Two angelic sentries, wielding shields and spears and wearing helmets that looked like buckets with visors cut out of the side, appeared from behind the seal.

"Halt!" One of the sentries said, his voice tinny and distant but maintaining a faint air of authority.

"Your kind has no place here," said the other. "By the holy laws, you shall be obliterated!"

Jake laughed. "As if!" He smirked. "Dragon up!"

XXX

Amina and Charlotte sipped cups of mango juice and picked at the side order of curly fries offered every other day at Kiki's Coffee Hut. The cafe was nearly deserted.

"Remember, Charly," Amina said. "The higher rank the demon, the more perfect its human appearance. And the stronger it is."

Charlotte shuffled through the pile of papers she received from Makana. "Let me get this straight. Jake Long is a demon of Eisner, able to shape-shift between human and dragon forms. And yet I understand he has his own television show in the human world."

"Yes," Amina said. "It's a ploy to corrupt the human world's children, both by corrupting them with the evil of Eisner's power and by exposing them to bad film making techniques, desensitizing them to mediocrity and preparing the way for a generation of half educated twits who think that garbage like _Twilight_ is high art."

"That's unforgivable," Charlotte declared.

XXX

"I'm going to the hospital," said Victoria as she opened the front door of Lilo's house and readied herself to leave.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Allen said.

"Really, you..." Victoria began, but then she looked in front of her and saw why. Stretching out over the entire field of her view was a fog, a sickly purple fog, menacing and ominous, devouring the landscape.

She did a double take. "What the?! Purple fog?! Where the heck did that come from?"

"That's new," Lilo observed, her face betraying excitement at the turn of events. "What if monsters come out of the fog, like in that one movie?"

Victoria looked the door and then slammed it shut again. "Um..."

"What?" Lilo asked.

"Monster..." Victoria gasped out.

Everyone ran to the window. A massive, scaly creature had slithered its way up to the front porch, its shiny black body and gaping maw full of needle-sharp teeth standing out against the thick fog, its crab-like pincers clicking and clacking almost as if it had to guide itself by feeling its way through the air.

Stitch calmly opened the door and approached the creature, but seconds later, he came crashing through a wall, leaving a Stitch-shaped hole behind him.

"This is bad," Lilo said.

"Yes, Little Girl," Jumba agreed. "That thing is demon. Unfortunately, 626's holy energy infusion makes him susceptible to toxic energy demons emit. Larger the demon, mean more energy."

XXX

Jake reverted to human form and dusted his hands off, stepping over the dead bodies of two angel sentries on the floor and letting a smile curl up the sides of his mouth, signaling the temporary fulfillment of his bloodlust. He swaggered forward, beckoning to his lackeys to join him in the central chamber of the cavern, a large open, natural carving of the rock with stalactites danging down from the ceiling above him and glowing green moss blanketing the walls. In the middle of the room stood a stone pedestal, clearly not of natural origin, in which someone had stuck a brilliant sword, point down like in the Arthurian legends. Light seemed to emanate from the sword itself, reflecting off the cave walls and keeping the room from falling into total darkness.

Spud stumbled as he followed Jake on his approach to the altar. "I'm getting dizzy," he complained.

"It's the holy energy being emitted from that sword," Nicodemus explained. "Could wipe out lower-level demons."

"So how do we get rid of it?" Spud asked.

"Allow me," Lao Shi said, stepping ahead of the party leader and directly in front of the sword's pedestal. He gripped the hilt in both hands and jerked hard. Steam rose from both his palms as they sizzled and burned from contact with the holy energy, but with a twitch of his eyes, he bade a black light to flow from his hands and into the sword. The light surrounding the sword dimmed. More energy flowed into the sword. Cracks appeared like spiderwebs along the length of the blade. The blade shattered, pieces scattering to the floor in all directions.

Lao Shi dropped the hilt and let two crispy, burned hands hang at his sides.

Jake clapped. "Way to go, Grandpappy. Now there's nothing to stop us from taking over this world!"

To Be Continued

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading my story so far.

I wrote this story in response to the Lilo & Stitch episode "Morpholomew." I should say before you object that I have sat down to watch _American Dragon: Jake Long_. I've seen various episodes, including "Old School Training", "Professor Rotwood's Thesis", "Shapeshifter", and "Dragon Summit", and it is mainly those episodes I will cite.

Where do I begin with the problems present in _American Dragon: Jake Long_? I'll begin with the "humor." A frequent source of humor is Fu Dog's habit of gambling doggie biscuits. Is the show trying to teach children that gambling is acceptable, or making fun of people with gambling problems? If it's the former, shame on the writers for depicting gambling as reputable. If it's the latter, I'm surprised. Deriding people with a serious addiction is cruel and humorless.

Another source of humor is the constant dialect "humor." Trixie is black, and speaks so stereotypically that it's offensive. Lao Shi's Chinese accent is too thick to be realistic and comes off as a caricature of a real accent. Likewise with Professor Rotwood's German accent. Jake himself speaks in an awful "ghetto" dialect, making him sound like a typical guttersnipe. In "Dragon Summit", there was more of the dialect "humor" than usual. There was a group of Brownies that spoke in thick accents. And may I add, Fred Nerk? Nerk becomes Jake's rival within five seconds of Jake's arrival on the island Draco. He is little more than a teenage dragon version of Crocodile Dundee. Is this how the writers perceive Australians? _The Proud Family _has a multiracial cast of characters including a mainly black cast, but absolutely no one talks the way the multiracial characters do in _American Dragon: Jake Long_. There's also a diverse cast in Fillmore. Again, no dialect humor there. This is not the 1940s anymore. Dialect humor is racist and offensive.

And now I come to Jake himself. He is arrogant, self-centered, and crude. In "Old School Training", he blew off his training to play with his friends. This might be forgivable, except that his grandfather was nearly killed that episode because Jake wasn't there to protect him. And earlier in the same episode, Jake pledged to obey his grandfather! Within ten minutes of screentime, he completely ignored his promise. In "Shapeshifter", he used a shape-shifting potion to deceive his English teacher, his parents, his crush, and his best friends. When Lao Shi asks him if he misused the potion – knowing full well he had and giving him a chance to come clean – Jake blatantly lies. Then Jake says "I'm pretty busted, aren't I?" Lao Shi glared and replied "You don't know the meaning of the word." All Jake can say is "Aww, man!" He's more sorry for being caught than sorry about lying to everyone else! This lack of remorse is troubling. Also, is it a coincidence that he transforms into a red dragon? As in, the mainly Asian gang the Red Blood Dragons (sometimes just Red Dragons)? Jake acts, talks, and dresses like a gang member, so perhaps its not a coincidence.

Jake Long's antics got even worse as the series continued. In "The Legend of the Dragon Tooth", he killed the villain-of-the-week, Dr. Diente. The corpse wasn't shown, but the camera panned to show his glasses crushed and broken on the ground. (It's even more disheartening when one learns Dr. Diente was voiced by the beloved John C. McGinley!) In the second season, he wipes out the entire Huntsclan, save for the comic relief members 88 and 89. He shows no remorse for either killings. He's old enough to kill, but not old enough to vote.

Ordinarily, I have no objection to villain death – in a more serious show. Plenty of villains died in Gargoyles, but Gargoyles was aimed at an older audience. Gargoyles also received a higher rating, Y-7. American Dragon: Jake Long is aimed at a younger age set, and only has a Y rating. The true horror inherent in this? The V-chip will let _American Dragon: Jake Long _through!

Even those who cross Jake Long and make it out alive aren't getting off easy. Professor Rotwood is Jake's English teacher. Jake got him arrested on a false kidnapping charge in "Professor Rotwood's Thesis." The episode ended with Rotwood in jail.

Whenever Rose, Jake's love interest, is around, Trixie acts jealous. Jake never seems to consider the idea that Trixie wants him for herself. I find it somewhat suspicious that he ignores Trixie in favor of lily-white blond-haired and blue-eyed Rose. Is it wrong for him to like a black girl?

Arthur P. Spudinski, aka Spud, is a miniature stoner. At one point, he even pulls on a door that says "push" and says "Man, this door is, like, broken." The thick California accent hardly helps. In "Morpholomew", he laughs at Gantu turned into a bunny, and leaves him like that. What if Gantu gets eaten? Never mind that Spud nearly passed out from fright when he first saw Gantu. ("Landshark!")

The writers are asking the viewers (mostly small children) to emulate Jake Long, not to mock him. If parents don't tell their children that people like Jake Long ought to be despised, how will they learn?


End file.
